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My heart is so heavy...

Last week, my mother was approved for the VA Center in Sulphur, Oklahoma.  She has Alzheimer's and I've been her full-time caretaker for three years and a month.  Her whole world was me and my total focus was her.

Recently, her physician told me to be proactive on getting her a place to live with a quality medical staff.  He said if she fell again, she would more than likely break a bone.  Once she breaks a bone, she will be put into the hospital, then a nursing home.  If she is in a nursing home, she will never come home again.  So....by being proactive, we selected the home that we wanted instead of being forced to use one of lesser quality.  The VA home has state-of-the-art equipment and an amazing and caring staff.

She moved in on Wednesday.  I told her we were going to see the doctor about her legs and hips (because they hurt so much).  By 12 noon, she said she had been living there since WWII.  The transition was very smooth and confirmed the need for medically assisted living.  She was so tired from the day, she slept very well all night.

Thursday, I was running late so when I walked in, she was already eating lunch.  She was holding herself up beautifully and minding her manners.  She said hello and kept eating as if I was just another person in the facility.  My heart sank.  Even though she hasn't known me as a daughter for around two years, now she didn't even recognize me as the one who took care of her for three years. Our history, in her mind, is totally lost...

I've now turned to what's left in my own life.  My husband, so patiently, stood by my side as I cared for my mother.  We made plans to build a new house in the country ....and, although I'm elated to get started on our new life, I'll be living with the sadness in my heart for a while.  He can see it in my eyes and I can't stop the crying when the sadness overwhelms.

On Friday, He took me up to the hill where we'll be living and I enjoyed the entire day out in the woods.  It was quiet and serene.  I enjoyed watching him run the dozer to clear out the trees.  I waited by the fire pit we created on our first camping adventure there.  It was warm outside, but I built a fire anyway.  We had a picnic and relocated a cactus.  We didn't want all of them to get dozed over.  We found out Prickly Pear (the cactus) will shoot tiny splinters when it feels threatened.  We laughed so hard as we pulled them out of our arms, hands and even Jim's mouth and tongue... a funny new memory.

I missed my Peptalk all week, so I'll be starting up again today.  I so need to hear reasons to move on.  Of course, I'll go every week to see mom, but it's time to move on with my life and live it to the fullest.  I have so much to be grateful for and a new life is waiting for me up on the hill out in the country. 

Inspiration

Yay! It's Spring break!  My granddaughter is here this week and we are looking for something to work on!  Do you ever get stuck on deciding what to do next?  That's me this morning.  I have several things lined up, but not sure if I want to drag my girl through the process.  Sometimes it's hard to work on things while entertaining kids!

It was a beautiful day yesterday and looks like another lovely day today.  Perhaps something outside would be fun.  I think I have a painting project or two she can do.

But first, I need to go to my source of motivation to get me started!  Nothing like a good Peptalk to get moving! 

China Hutch Update

I loved the bones on this sturdy piece when my husband brought it home from a local auction.  I debated on the color, keeping in mind the color of things I wanted to display.  I picked this dark blue.

The lighting makes it difficult to get a great photo, so I hope you can see it okay.  The window streams the light heavy on one side.

I went with Renaissance Chalk Paint in Ultramarine 27.  After wiping down the entire hutch and making sure all the gummy parts from who knows what were gone, I was ready to dive in.  The paint instructions read that there was no need to sand anything.  

The paint went on so smooth, I just fell in love with it immediately!

It also dried quickly.

Once the first coat was on, I knew I had picked the right color for me. 

I used a satin white paint inside the cabinet.  Just thought it would be easier to see down there!  I had to do several coats of the white, but only two coats of the blue.  I didn't take any hardware off...just painted right over everything!

After the paint was dried good, I buffed off the high points of the paint and dry brushed on some touches of white to give it the weathered look.  I used a wet cloth and sandpaper.  I went in with a black wax around the edges and grooves, then a clear wax on the flat areas.

The wax really deepened up the color!

I just love the little piece that folds out for serving!  It's in perfect working condition!

I gathered some white, yellow and clear vintage items to finish it up.  Tried to use some Spring inspired items!

This is my first large piece of furniture.  I hope you enjoyed!

Weightloss Update

If I had a nickel for every time I failed, I’d be rich!  If I had a nickel for every time I won, I’d also be rich!  Let’s face it, life is full of ups and downs.  The only thing I’ve proven so far is that I’m old!

This week, I lost my mini-challenge on HealthyWage.com.  I am 1.5 lbs. shy of my goal.  I tried so hard, but my body is slowing down into a plateau. In fact, I didn’t think I would get this close!  My metabolism is also reflecting my age!!!  Eeeek!

With the ups and downs in life, especially with weight loss, it would be so easy to give up!  A little more laying around on the couch, eating delicious food, sneaking some high-calorie snacks sounds pretty good.  But wait…with all that, the extra pounds would show back up, the joints would become painful again and the clothes won’t fit.

What I need here is motivation!

For me, the motivation to lose weight is my biggest obstacle.  Last week, I had to change my daily goals to try to meet my HealthyWage short-term goal.  I had procrastinated on losing weight after the first of the year so I guess I just didn’t get going fast enough.  I didn’t gain any weight, but just couldn’t push myself to lose early enough in the game. 

The first short-term challenge was relatively easy.  I set my goal to lose 1.5 lbs. per week.  My calories were set and I tried to walk thirty minutes a day, three days a week.  It was pretty easy.  I didn’t always lose 1.5 lbs. in a week.  Sometimes it was only 1 lb., sometimes it was 3 lbs.  The pace was perfect.

As I worked to reach my second goal, I was still able to calculate all the lbs. into the timeframe I had left with only a minimal amount of extra effort, even though I had procrastinated (wasting three to four weeks).  I left one thing out of the equation, though….the plateau. 

After losing 24 lbs., I hit my first big plateau.  It came down to the last week and I still had a final 2.7 lbs. to go.  I didn’t lose the 2.7 lbs., instead I lost 1.2 lbs. meaning I lost the mini-challenge.  I really pushed myself to try to get the entire 2.7 lbs. off.  The pain I went through almost makes me want to cry!  Almost.

I say almost because when I look at my app, MyFitnessPal, on my phone, I see the total weight loss and it makes me so very proud!  I’ve lost 25.2 lbs. so far!  That’s HUGE!  Without the challenge, I don’t think I would have gotten this far! 

This week, I’m gonna continue on!  I’m gonna listen to my Peptalk app, watch those calories and keep exercising!  Only 30 lbs. to go in 6 months – still 5 lbs. a month!  I have a smaller mini-challenge ending on the 17 of this month, so I may be able to recoup what I lost. 

I don’t really want to enter another mini-challenge, but I’m gonna do it – win or lose.  That way, I’ll force myself to stay on track for the BIG wager!  The big prize for me on HealthyWage.com will be $2,750!!!  Now that’s some motivation!  

Vignettes: Every Corner Needs Attention

My bathroom got a little update today!  Painting it has been on my slate for quite some time, but haven't felt like it yet.  It's the last room to have a freshed coat of paint.

I didn't let that stop me from doing a little update today, though.  We've been going full steam this past year, not giving any attention to what the room looked like and frankly just haven't cared.  Here's a snap shot of what I focused on.

Yeah...not too good.

As small as my bathroom is, I really needed a cute way to have my toilet paper nearby.  The basket I found around the house is pretty old, but just didn't look right with it's varnished look, so I quickly splashed on some gray paint.  Had to mix the paint again, because all I had was a charcoal gray (almost black) and white. I thought gray was needed to go with the shower curtain.  It looks darker in this photo...  Next, I added some white to a cute frame and changed the towel.  What do you think?

I considered the sign "nice butt" but change my mind.  I thought roses were appropriate!  Maybe I'll use the sign next time.

It's amazing to me what a little change here and there does to a house.  I hope you enjoyed this vignette and you go after your own little change today!  Pick a corner!

100% Cotton Sheets!

I love buying sheets at the Goodwill or second-hand stores.  Some are worn and have a soft feel and others are crisp like they were never used much.  The older ones are interesting because they have beautiful and often forgotten patterns that bring about memories of days gone by.  My intention is to upcycle these sheets into many different projects, but so far, buying them seems to be the true hobby!    I do, however, have these two projects going.  The first one is dinner napkins.  

These particular napkins are made from the newer and more pristine sheets that are 100% cotton.  They are wonderful to work with and feel brand new.  I found a few in these soft colors and patterns which makes them great for Spring!  Next, I’m making more of these tiny pillows.  My new batch needs to be filled and sewn shut.

The pillows are great for people coming out of surgery.  After my own double mastectomy, I received four of them to place under my arms to relieve pressure from the surgical area.  I’m working on several of these and hope they will be useful to someone who needs them.  They make great gifts from people who otherwise don’t know what to do to make the patient feel better.  I absolutely loved and appreciated the gesture when I was given my tiny pillows.

On the horizon, I’m hoping to make some pajama pants and shorts for my granddaughters.  Sheets are the perfect soft and breezy material to use!  Then I’m hoping to branch out into making spring/summer robes.  Those make great bride’s maids gifts!  I’m not planning on getting married, but someone in the family might! 

Finally, I started, but had to abandon it during our last big move in 2017, a girls baby quilt.  It was so fun matching the different sheets from different locations!  Gotta get back to it and maybe we’ll have some baby shower gifts!  Perhaps I need an extra Peptalk to get me going again!